soup pumpkin squash #eroseco

The Woes of a Wannabe Martha Stewart

As hard as I may try, or as much as I may wish, I know I will never be a phenom like Martha Stewart. Not in the kitchen anyway. “Why”, you ask?

I could say it’s because my cookies never look puffy and fresh (if you’re looking for hard flat blobs or goopy balls, I’m your gal!)…or that my breads never get done in the middle…or even that my husband doesn’t seem to love anything I prepare. However, I think it has more to do with not liking to cook.

That’s right! I’ll admit it. I’m not afraid anymore. I am not a huge fan of cooking.

  • I don’t enjoy the time it takes to choose a recipe;
  • I’ve got no energy to grocery shop (used it all up picking a recipe);
  • Making a mess in the kitchen gives me anxiety;
  • Even when things turn out and taste great, they’re gone so fast it’s time to make more.

Wow, this feels surprisingly freeing. I’ve been in denial for a long time, let me tell ya. I really believed I didn’t like cooking because our kitchen was dark and dingy. “Once we remodel and fix it up, I’ll want to spend more time in there. Just you wait.” That’s what I told my husband, my mom…myself.

Boy was I in denial. Our kitchen was remodeled a little over a year ago, right before our daughter was born. It’s no longer dark nor dingy. It’s great! Big surprise, I still don’t like preparing meals.

It’s actually sad because I really love talking about food and choosing ingredients. I like thinking about what pairs well together, what changes to make next time, seeing beautiful dishes and, of course, eating them. I’m just not good at, and don’t enjoy, making them.

I still try. Take last night for example, I  thought, “Oooh, I’m going to prove myself wrong.. I’m going to try again and enjoy it.” I made butternut squash base soup with green chilies, chicken, garlic, and onion. I even added a little creme fraiche. For dessert, cream cheese filled banana bread. I was determined to get the darn bread right this time.

The soup actually turned out alright. I was solo on that opinion, however. Looks like all the leftovers are all mine. The banana bread was done in the middle (victory!) but the cream cheese filling was off.  I knew it was too runny when I poured it on the first half of my batter. After adding the second half of the batter the cream cheese spilled out over the top and was no longer “stuffed”. While baking, it overflowed and cream cheese mixture oozed down the sides of the loaf pan. It tasted good but looked absolutely n o t h i n g like the recipe photo.

Does anyone else have this problem? You want to love cooking/ baking but you just don’t?

If you want to give the bread a try, the recipe I used was from Jill at Let me know how it goes.

And while I’m thinking of it, I’ll try and get some before and afters of the kitchen posted soon.

Thanks for stopping! ~Ellie

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